Poetry International Poetry International
Poem

Admiel Kosman

THE ONE WHO NEEDS A PSYCHIATRIST


It’s okay to express an opinion. Can’t You
take any criticism? I’ve been there,
and I’m telling You it’s not what You think.
So sit down and be quiet.

Can’t You take any criticism
at all? The way You behave is really ridiculous.
You should think before You speak.

You’re sure You know everything.
But inside, I’m sorry to say,
You’re a miserable creature,

in my opinion, You don’t even know
for sure, inside,
that You exist, and so
You can’t take
any tough criticism at all.

You should know, it’s okay, yes, really okay
to express an opinion, even if it’s against You, I’m sorry to say.

By the way, You really should know,
between the two of us
the one who needs a psychiatrist
is You,

not me. It’s true
that I offend You
here and there. So what,
I’m telling You the honest,
bitter truth. So what
if it’s hard for You to swallow.

The distance from this
to Your violent response
is as far as heaven from earth.

It’s interesting that for You, in
Your fantasies, no one
ever opens his mouth. And in
there, inside, it’s like a total hush.

So excuse me, I won’t talk to You now.
Because when You look at me like that

what do You really want to say, look,
You’re terrifying me.

You should know
I’m not going to talk about that either.
Even though I know very well
You don’t even really mean it.

To me You’ve been a negative
character for a long time, and not at all
human, because You don’t, to my way of thinking,
exist in the real world.

You should know that creatures
like You, may find, perhaps,
as far as I’m concerned, on an emotional level

or maybe in Your
dreams, for all I care
You may find
in fantasies

some gnomes or trolls,
believe me,
as far as I’m concerned,
they’re giants,

I’m not quarreling with You at all,
if You haven’t noticed, because, to me, it’s
an insult to intelligence, absolutely.

By the way, I have to add, really
for Your own good, that the one,
between the two of us, who needs, urgently,
to see a psychiatrist,
is You.

WIE NODIG NAAR DE PSYCHIATER MOET


Ik mag wel zeggen wat ik vind. Waarom weigert u
Kritiek aan te horen? Neem het maar van me aan,
Ik weet het uit eigen ervaring, het is niet wat u denkt.
Dus hou u koest en mondje dicht.

Waarom weigert u pertinent kritiek aan te horen?
Zoals u reageert, dat is echt nergens voor nodig.
Je moet toch nadenken voordat je spreekt.

U denkt dat u alles weet.
Maar sorry, hoor, vanbinnen bent u
Gewoon een arme zielenpoot.

Volgens mij weet u niet eens
Zeker, daarbinnen,
Dat u bestaat en bent u
Daarom volstrekt niet in staat
Negatieve kritiek aan te horen.

Maar het mag echt, hoor, vrijuit 
Spreken. En sorry, maar zelfs tegen u.

En wat u trouwens ook moet weten is
Dat als een van ons tweeën nodig
Naar de psychiater moet, dat
U het bent

En niet ik. Ja, goed, ik heb zo nu en dan
een grote mond. Nou en? Wat ik ook
Tegen u zeg, ik spreek altijd de
Bittere waarheid. U mag er moeite
Mee hebben, maar wat dan nog?

En om nou
Zo agressief te reageren,
Dat is hemeltergend overdreven.

Wel interessant dat er bij u vanbinnen,
In de fantasieën, dat daar niemand
Zijn mond opendoet. En dat het daar,
Binnen, zeg maar, erg stil is.

Dus sorry, maar ik geef u nu geen antwoord.
Want als u mij zo aankijkt, zo van: wat dan,
Wat wil je eigenlijk zeggen, dan
Jaagt u mij de stuipen op het lijf.

En ook moet u weten dat ik hier
Al helemaal niet op reageer,
Ook al weet ik maar al te goed
Dat u het echt niet meent,

En wel omdat u voor mij allang een
Negatief wezen bent, u bent helemaal
Geen persoonlijk wezen meer, omdat u
Volgens mij elke vorm van wezenlijkheid mist.

En bovendien, met schepsels
Zoals u, en dat mag wat mij betreft
Zelfs in het emotionele deel zijn,

Of in uw dromen
Misschien, wat mij
Betreft mag u
In uw fantasieën

Kaboutertjes of trolletjes
Verzinnen, echt waar,
Wat mij betreft ook
Gewoon reuzen,

Ik ga met u in elk geval niet in discussie,
Als u dat nog niet door hebt, want dat zou voor mij
Een belediging van mijn intelligentie zijn. Punt uit.

Ik moet er trouwens nog aan toevoegen, en
Dat doe ik echt voor uw bestwil, dat als een van ons
Tweeën naar de psychiater moet,
En wel met spoed,
Dat u het bent.

מי שזקוק לראות פסיכיאטר

Close

THE ONE WHO NEEDS A PSYCHIATRIST


It’s okay to express an opinion. Can’t You
take any criticism? I’ve been there,
and I’m telling You it’s not what You think.
So sit down and be quiet.

Can’t You take any criticism
at all? The way You behave is really ridiculous.
You should think before You speak.

You’re sure You know everything.
But inside, I’m sorry to say,
You’re a miserable creature,

in my opinion, You don’t even know
for sure, inside,
that You exist, and so
You can’t take
any tough criticism at all.

You should know, it’s okay, yes, really okay
to express an opinion, even if it’s against You, I’m sorry to say.

By the way, You really should know,
between the two of us
the one who needs a psychiatrist
is You,

not me. It’s true
that I offend You
here and there. So what,
I’m telling You the honest,
bitter truth. So what
if it’s hard for You to swallow.

The distance from this
to Your violent response
is as far as heaven from earth.

It’s interesting that for You, in
Your fantasies, no one
ever opens his mouth. And in
there, inside, it’s like a total hush.

So excuse me, I won’t talk to You now.
Because when You look at me like that

what do You really want to say, look,
You’re terrifying me.

You should know
I’m not going to talk about that either.
Even though I know very well
You don’t even really mean it.

To me You’ve been a negative
character for a long time, and not at all
human, because You don’t, to my way of thinking,
exist in the real world.

You should know that creatures
like You, may find, perhaps,
as far as I’m concerned, on an emotional level

or maybe in Your
dreams, for all I care
You may find
in fantasies

some gnomes or trolls,
believe me,
as far as I’m concerned,
they’re giants,

I’m not quarreling with You at all,
if You haven’t noticed, because, to me, it’s
an insult to intelligence, absolutely.

By the way, I have to add, really
for Your own good, that the one,
between the two of us, who needs, urgently,
to see a psychiatrist,
is You.

THE ONE WHO NEEDS A PSYCHIATRIST


It’s okay to express an opinion. Can’t You
take any criticism? I’ve been there,
and I’m telling You it’s not what You think.
So sit down and be quiet.

Can’t You take any criticism
at all? The way You behave is really ridiculous.
You should think before You speak.

You’re sure You know everything.
But inside, I’m sorry to say,
You’re a miserable creature,

in my opinion, You don’t even know
for sure, inside,
that You exist, and so
You can’t take
any tough criticism at all.

You should know, it’s okay, yes, really okay
to express an opinion, even if it’s against You, I’m sorry to say.

By the way, You really should know,
between the two of us
the one who needs a psychiatrist
is You,

not me. It’s true
that I offend You
here and there. So what,
I’m telling You the honest,
bitter truth. So what
if it’s hard for You to swallow.

The distance from this
to Your violent response
is as far as heaven from earth.

It’s interesting that for You, in
Your fantasies, no one
ever opens his mouth. And in
there, inside, it’s like a total hush.

So excuse me, I won’t talk to You now.
Because when You look at me like that

what do You really want to say, look,
You’re terrifying me.

You should know
I’m not going to talk about that either.
Even though I know very well
You don’t even really mean it.

To me You’ve been a negative
character for a long time, and not at all
human, because You don’t, to my way of thinking,
exist in the real world.

You should know that creatures
like You, may find, perhaps,
as far as I’m concerned, on an emotional level

or maybe in Your
dreams, for all I care
You may find
in fantasies

some gnomes or trolls,
believe me,
as far as I’m concerned,
they’re giants,

I’m not quarreling with You at all,
if You haven’t noticed, because, to me, it’s
an insult to intelligence, absolutely.

By the way, I have to add, really
for Your own good, that the one,
between the two of us, who needs, urgently,
to see a psychiatrist,
is You.
Sponsors
Gemeente Rotterdam
Nederlands Letterenfonds
Stichting Van Beuningen Peterich-fonds
Ludo Pieters Gastschrijver Fonds
Hendrik Muller fonds
Lira fonds
J.E. Jurriaanse
Literature Translation Institute of Korea
Partners
LantarenVenster – Verhalenhuis Belvédère