Poetry International Poetry International
Poem

Heather Phillipson

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If rigor mortis sets in
it means there’s somebody who needs it.
It means that somebody
is drained and not awake
and deems any speckles of life unusable
and he is dead and dead
all dead in the humus
of trashed bodies we’ve shoved
down there dressed in
invented relationships.
 
What’s your favourite part?
Mine’s every part
with a maggot in it. Maggots
mean that life’s still leaking.
 
It’s like magic
when his dead voice
is nauseating
and I can’t see him
so he might as well be invisible.
It’s like magic when he isn’t
and doesn’t have anything to say
and I can’t bear to listen anyway
so I just recognize my fingers / all
the injuries they’ve inflicted
while my skin drops off.
 
What’s worse than a maggot
in the EAT ME
GLOVE-BOX DATES?
Does the 5-second rule apply
to something that drops dead?
Is it true he might come back
and crack open a piñata
blue alcopops, bombay mix, karaoke and 4 pints of nostalgia
which is like thinking in another language,
I mean, how it feels, not what it means.
 
Half a maggot, the memory of
mange marching across his fur
describes a lot of other feelings
the feeling that someone else is taking up the whole room
the feeling that no one could help me now
or ever whether I was on several edges
my hot core and noggin facing this hammering world
of brainlessness and sweetbreads
was always a favourite word.
I don’t know what it tastes like but I know it’s terrible.
 
a:ldskjfa:lkdgjsa meaning
I’m so overcharged
that all I can do is literally slam
my hands/head/breasts against the keyboard.
 
Wherever there are
corpses there are maggots.
If we dig him up will he be wearing a jacket?
LOOK OUT
for the milkier, gentler solaces
which for all we know                   for all we know
could be the wind
or Chopin’s noise (still hammering the background) –
who’s seen it? Only its aftermath
is visible what’s not visible
is the aftermath of my screaming
Close

12

If rigor mortis sets in
it means there’s somebody who needs it.
It means that somebody
is drained and not awake
and deems any speckles of life unusable
and he is dead and dead
all dead in the humus
of trashed bodies we’ve shoved
down there dressed in
invented relationships.
 
What’s your favourite part?
Mine’s every part
with a maggot in it. Maggots
mean that life’s still leaking.
 
It’s like magic
when his dead voice
is nauseating
and I can’t see him
so he might as well be invisible.
It’s like magic when he isn’t
and doesn’t have anything to say
and I can’t bear to listen anyway
so I just recognize my fingers / all
the injuries they’ve inflicted
while my skin drops off.
 
What’s worse than a maggot
in the EAT ME
GLOVE-BOX DATES?
Does the 5-second rule apply
to something that drops dead?
Is it true he might come back
and crack open a piñata
blue alcopops, bombay mix, karaoke and 4 pints of nostalgia
which is like thinking in another language,
I mean, how it feels, not what it means.
 
Half a maggot, the memory of
mange marching across his fur
describes a lot of other feelings
the feeling that someone else is taking up the whole room
the feeling that no one could help me now
or ever whether I was on several edges
my hot core and noggin facing this hammering world
of brainlessness and sweetbreads
was always a favourite word.
I don’t know what it tastes like but I know it’s terrible.
 
a:ldskjfa:lkdgjsa meaning
I’m so overcharged
that all I can do is literally slam
my hands/head/breasts against the keyboard.
 
Wherever there are
corpses there are maggots.
If we dig him up will he be wearing a jacket?
LOOK OUT
for the milkier, gentler solaces
which for all we know                   for all we know
could be the wind
or Chopin’s noise (still hammering the background) –
who’s seen it? Only its aftermath
is visible what’s not visible
is the aftermath of my screaming

12

Sponsors
Gemeente Rotterdam
Nederlands Letterenfonds
Stichting Van Beuningen Peterich-fonds
Ludo Pieters Gastschrijver Fonds
Lira fonds
Partners
LantarenVenster – Verhalenhuis Belvédère