Poetry International Poetry International
Poem

Batsheva Dori-Carlier

BEING AND TIME

Father, I stand in a place where you could not,
speaking step-mother-tongue German and broken Arabic,
receding since Grandmother died.
At the first lesson, Dr. Nieraad
smiled and asked:
How did you get here?
I sat in the seats of the Free University of Berlin
and on the banks of the Spree
and I didn’t weep when I remembered Zion. I forgot
where I came from and knew only where I was headed: as far from Babylon
as possible. In my ignorance I preferred Heidegger
to the being and time of home.
I loved Bach’s cello suites for a long while
before I stopped calling Farid al-Atrash “noise”.
When I awoke from my European sleep and foreign language idolatry,
you’d been dead for a decade and I didn't manage in time
for you to meet your Flemish son-in-law, or your light-haired grandson,
named for you: your look deep within his eyes like a charm.
He loves heat waves and is frost proof. Like me, father,
he chats in fluent European and loves to play the violin. Like you,
he sings Um Kultum on key, from beginning to end.

הויה וזמן

הויה וזמן

אַבָּא, אֲנִי עוֹמֶדֶת בַּמָּקוֹם שֶׁאָסוּר הָיָה לְךָ לַעֲמֹד.
מְדַבֶּרֶת גֶּרְמָנִית כִּשְׂפַת-אֵם חוֹרֶגֶת וְעַרְבִית עִילֵגֵת,
הַהוֹלֶכֶת וּמִתְרַחֶקֶת מֵאָז מוֹתָהּ שֶׁל סָבְתָא.
בַּשִּׁעוּר הָרִאשׁוֹן בַּחוּג לְסִפְרוּת גֶּרְמָנִית, דּוֹקְטוֹר נִירָאד 
חִיֵּךְ וְשָׁאַל: "אֲבָל אֵיךְ הִגַּעְתְּ לְכָאן?"
יָשַׁבְתִּי עַל סַפְסָלֵי הָאוּנִיבֶרְסִיטָה הַחוֹפְשִׁית בְּבֶרְלִין
וְעַל גְּדַת נָהָר הַשְׁפְּרֵה וְלֹא בָּכִיתִי בְּזוֹכְרִי אֶת צִיּוֹן. שָׁכַחְתִּי
מֵאַיִן אֲנִי בָּאָה וְיָדַעְתִּי רַק לְאָן אֲנִי הוֹלֶכֶת: רָחוֹק
כַּמָּה שֶׁיּוֹתֵר מִבַּבֵל. בְּבוּרוּתִי הֶעֱדַפְתִּי
אֶת כְּתָבֵי הַייְדֵּגֵר עַל פְּנֵי הַהֲוָיָה וְהַזְּמַן שֶׁל הַבַּיִת.
אָהַבְתִּי אֶת הַסְוִויטוֹת לְצֶ'לּוֹ שֶׁל בָּאךְ זְמַן רַב לִפְנֵי שֶׁהִפְסַקְתִּי
לִקְרֹא לפָרִיד אִיל אַטְרָשׁ "רַעַשׁ".
כְּשֶׁהִתְעוֹרַרְתִּי מִתַּרְדֶּמֶת אֵירוֹפָּה וַעֲבוֹדַת שָּׂפָה זָּרָה,
מַלְּאוּ כְּבָר עֶשֶׂר שָׁנִים לְמוֹתְךָ וְלֹא הִסְפַּקְתִּי. לֹא הִסְפַּקְתִּי.
אֶת חֲתָנְךָ הַפְלֵמִי לֹא פָּגַשְׁתָּ, גַּם לֹא אֶת נֶכְדְּךָ בָּהִיר הַשֵּׂעָר.
הוא נִּקְרָא עַל שִׁמְךָ וּמַבָּטְךָ טָמוּן בְּעֵינָיו כִּסְגֻלָּה.
הוּא אוֹהֵב חַמְסִין וְעָמִיד בִּפְנֵי כְּפוֹר. כָּמוֹנִי, אַבָּא,
הוּא מְפַטְפֵּט אֵירוֹפֵּאִית שׁוֹטֶפֶת, אוֹהֵב לְנַגֵּן בְּכִנּוֹר. כָּמוֹךָ,
שָׁר בְּלִי זִיּוּפִים שִׁירִים שֶׁל אוּם כּוּלְת'וּם, מֵהַתְחָלָה עַד הַסּוֹף.
 
Close

BEING AND TIME

Father, I stand in a place where you could not,
speaking step-mother-tongue German and broken Arabic,
receding since Grandmother died.
At the first lesson, Dr. Nieraad
smiled and asked:
How did you get here?
I sat in the seats of the Free University of Berlin
and on the banks of the Spree
and I didn’t weep when I remembered Zion. I forgot
where I came from and knew only where I was headed: as far from Babylon
as possible. In my ignorance I preferred Heidegger
to the being and time of home.
I loved Bach’s cello suites for a long while
before I stopped calling Farid al-Atrash “noise”.
When I awoke from my European sleep and foreign language idolatry,
you’d been dead for a decade and I didn't manage in time
for you to meet your Flemish son-in-law, or your light-haired grandson,
named for you: your look deep within his eyes like a charm.
He loves heat waves and is frost proof. Like me, father,
he chats in fluent European and loves to play the violin. Like you,
he sings Um Kultum on key, from beginning to end.

BEING AND TIME

Father, I stand in a place where you could not,
speaking step-mother-tongue German and broken Arabic,
receding since Grandmother died.
At the first lesson, Dr. Nieraad
smiled and asked:
How did you get here?
I sat in the seats of the Free University of Berlin
and on the banks of the Spree
and I didn’t weep when I remembered Zion. I forgot
where I came from and knew only where I was headed: as far from Babylon
as possible. In my ignorance I preferred Heidegger
to the being and time of home.
I loved Bach’s cello suites for a long while
before I stopped calling Farid al-Atrash “noise”.
When I awoke from my European sleep and foreign language idolatry,
you’d been dead for a decade and I didn't manage in time
for you to meet your Flemish son-in-law, or your light-haired grandson,
named for you: your look deep within his eyes like a charm.
He loves heat waves and is frost proof. Like me, father,
he chats in fluent European and loves to play the violin. Like you,
he sings Um Kultum on key, from beginning to end.
Sponsors
Gemeente Rotterdam
Nederlands Letterenfonds
Stichting Van Beuningen Peterich-fonds
Ludo Pieters Gastschrijver Fonds
Lira fonds
Partners
LantarenVenster – Verhalenhuis Belvédère