Poem
Jules Deelder
THE HUMOUR OF THE ROMANS
That the RomansEspecially the more
Affluent circles
Had their own brand
Of humour may be
Gathered from one
Of their emperors
Who had his party-
Guests beset by
Lions and tigers
That had been robbed
Of claws and teeth
But nevertheless
Succeeded in causing
Widespread panic
Only to present
Them later at their
Respective homes
With their grave-
Stones complete
With date of death
And epitaph ‑ maybe
Not particularly
Sensitive but all
The more effective
As most of them
Never set foot in
The palace again
And rightly so
As thes would sure-
ly have paid with
Their lives and not
In a quick and easy
Manner but rather
In a way more attuned
To the emperor’s
Sense of humour ‑ so
Forget your simple
Hanging or beheading
Or poisoning or
Burning as you were
More likely to end
Up digging the sights
Of Rome upside down
From a cross with
Your insides on a
Plate under your
Nose ‑ a Rome that
Might even be set
On fire to heighten
The overall effect
But without the
Right of appeal or
Of taking the 5th
Amendment as your
Roman emperors and
Despots ‑ however
Civilised they might
Be ‑ never heard
Of any such crap
Which didn’t mean
That you weren’t
Allowed to laugh
In fact you more
Or less had to and
If by any chance
You failed to see
The fun of it you
Stood a fat chance
Of being thrown
To the lions your-
Self or put to use
As festive fire-
Works with a bunch
Of early christians
At one of the many
Garden parties at
The palace for one
Could not deny
That the Romans
Especially the more
Affluent circles
Had their own brand
Of humour and there
Sure was done a lot
Of laughing in An-
Tiquity ‑ at times
It could be heard
From far ringing
Out over the moaning
And the crying of
The tortured and
The dying and who
O who has no regrets
Of having had to
Miss it all due to
Fate and lousy timing
© Translation: 1995, J.A. Deelder
DE HUMOR DER ROMEINEN
DE HUMOR DER ROMEINEN
Dat de RomeinenEr met name in
Beter gesitueerde
Kringen een geheel
Eigen humor op na-
Hielden mag blijken
Uit één hunner kei-
Zers die op een par-
Tijtje z'n gasten
Als klap op de vuur-
Pijl door leeuwen
En tijgers liet be-
Springen die vante-
Voren van tanden en
Nagels ontdaan niet-
Temin grote paniek
Wisten te zaaien om
Hen diezelfde nacht
Nog thuis hun graf-
Zerk te bezorgen com-
Pleet met grafschrift
En overlijdensdatum –
Misschien niet bijster
Fijngevoelig maar wèl
Effectief want de
Meesten lieten zich
Daarna nooit meer
Ten paleize zien
Waarin men hen geen
Ongelijk kon geven
Daar zij het zonder
Twijfel hadden bekocht
Met hun leven en dan
Niet op gemakke-
Lijkste en snelste
Wijze maar meer op
Een manier die met
De geheel eigen humor
Des keizers viel te
Rijmen dus niks op-
Hangen of simpelweg
Onthoofden of vergif-
Tigen of verbranden
Doch veeleer met de
Eigen ingewanden in
Een afwasteiltje voor
Zich ondersteboven
Aan een ruwhouten
Kruis genageld ge-
Nieten van het uit-
Zicht over Rome dat
Desgewenst nog in
Brand kon worden ge-
Stoken om het overall
Effect te verhogen
Maar zonder enig recht
Van beroep of protest
In het kader van de
Mensenrechten want
Daar hadden Romeinse
Keizers en despoten
Hoe beschaafd ze ver-
Der ook wezen mochten
In het geheel geen
Boodschap aan wat
Niet wou zeggen dat
Er niet gelachen
Mocht worden integen-
Deel het was eer een
Kwestie van moeten
En wie er per ongeluk
De lol niet van in
Zag liep grote kans
Op zijn of haar beurt
Voor de leeuwen ge-
Worpen of tijdens
Een der vele tuin-
Partijen ten paleize
Samen met een handvol
Eerste christenen als
Sfeerverlichting te
Worden aangewend want
Een zekere humor kon
De Romeinen met name
In beter gesitueerde
Kringen niet worden
Ontzegd en er werd
Dan ook héél wat af-
Gelachen in de Oud-
Heid – je kon het
Soms van ver al horen
Boven het kermen en
Erbarmelijk krijten
Der gemartelden en
Vermoorden uit en wie
O wie kent niet dat
Gevoel van spijt te
Laat te zijn geboren
From: Transeuropa
Publisher: De Bezige Bij, Amsterdam
Publisher: De Bezige Bij, Amsterdam
Poems
Poems of Jules Deelder
Close
THE HUMOUR OF THE ROMANS
That the RomansEspecially the more
Affluent circles
Had their own brand
Of humour may be
Gathered from one
Of their emperors
Who had his party-
Guests beset by
Lions and tigers
That had been robbed
Of claws and teeth
But nevertheless
Succeeded in causing
Widespread panic
Only to present
Them later at their
Respective homes
With their grave-
Stones complete
With date of death
And epitaph ‑ maybe
Not particularly
Sensitive but all
The more effective
As most of them
Never set foot in
The palace again
And rightly so
As thes would sure-
ly have paid with
Their lives and not
In a quick and easy
Manner but rather
In a way more attuned
To the emperor’s
Sense of humour ‑ so
Forget your simple
Hanging or beheading
Or poisoning or
Burning as you were
More likely to end
Up digging the sights
Of Rome upside down
From a cross with
Your insides on a
Plate under your
Nose ‑ a Rome that
Might even be set
On fire to heighten
The overall effect
But without the
Right of appeal or
Of taking the 5th
Amendment as your
Roman emperors and
Despots ‑ however
Civilised they might
Be ‑ never heard
Of any such crap
Which didn’t mean
That you weren’t
Allowed to laugh
In fact you more
Or less had to and
If by any chance
You failed to see
The fun of it you
Stood a fat chance
Of being thrown
To the lions your-
Self or put to use
As festive fire-
Works with a bunch
Of early christians
At one of the many
Garden parties at
The palace for one
Could not deny
That the Romans
Especially the more
Affluent circles
Had their own brand
Of humour and there
Sure was done a lot
Of laughing in An-
Tiquity ‑ at times
It could be heard
From far ringing
Out over the moaning
And the crying of
The tortured and
The dying and who
O who has no regrets
Of having had to
Miss it all due to
Fate and lousy timing
© 1995, J.A. Deelder
From: Transeuropa
From: Transeuropa
THE HUMOUR OF THE ROMANS
That the RomansEspecially the more
Affluent circles
Had their own brand
Of humour may be
Gathered from one
Of their emperors
Who had his party-
Guests beset by
Lions and tigers
That had been robbed
Of claws and teeth
But nevertheless
Succeeded in causing
Widespread panic
Only to present
Them later at their
Respective homes
With their grave-
Stones complete
With date of death
And epitaph ‑ maybe
Not particularly
Sensitive but all
The more effective
As most of them
Never set foot in
The palace again
And rightly so
As thes would sure-
ly have paid with
Their lives and not
In a quick and easy
Manner but rather
In a way more attuned
To the emperor’s
Sense of humour ‑ so
Forget your simple
Hanging or beheading
Or poisoning or
Burning as you were
More likely to end
Up digging the sights
Of Rome upside down
From a cross with
Your insides on a
Plate under your
Nose ‑ a Rome that
Might even be set
On fire to heighten
The overall effect
But without the
Right of appeal or
Of taking the 5th
Amendment as your
Roman emperors and
Despots ‑ however
Civilised they might
Be ‑ never heard
Of any such crap
Which didn’t mean
That you weren’t
Allowed to laugh
In fact you more
Or less had to and
If by any chance
You failed to see
The fun of it you
Stood a fat chance
Of being thrown
To the lions your-
Self or put to use
As festive fire-
Works with a bunch
Of early christians
At one of the many
Garden parties at
The palace for one
Could not deny
That the Romans
Especially the more
Affluent circles
Had their own brand
Of humour and there
Sure was done a lot
Of laughing in An-
Tiquity ‑ at times
It could be heard
From far ringing
Out over the moaning
And the crying of
The tortured and
The dying and who
O who has no regrets
Of having had to
Miss it all due to
Fate and lousy timing
© 1995, J.A. Deelder
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