Poetry International Poetry International
Poem

Ruth Lasters

ACROPHOBIA

Paper cups, if you can drink out of them.
Made from the pulp of a tree that, itself, once drank water,
then, sip by sip, 

into you flows the sublime certainty that everything is coming together again:
knowing churned into feeling, the flood after all the ebb of resentment,
the shutter for susurrating 

self-deception and the draft excluder of the adequate.
Oh yes, and us, too. If I ever stack paper cups
outside on your windowsill, then you'll know – of course, silly – 

that I'm yours and that, for a long time, I couldn't bear it
that trees manage with only one percent dynamic living
tissue. I can do that, too, I thought
before I met you. But that that also means 

that oaks, beeches, birches can never, like us,
not be a hundred percent active, to their very heartwood
and still remain upright.
Such a total tenacity, of just metres 

without despite or nonetheless or anyway.
There and then, in their stead, I got acrophobia
under my bark.

HOOGTEVREES

Papieren bekers, als je daaruit kan drinken.
Uit pulp afkomstig van een boom die zelf ooit water dronk,
dan stroomt toch slok na slok

de sublieme zekerheid in je dat alles opnieuw samenkomt:
het weten omgewoeld tot voelen, de vloed na alle eb door wrok,
het luikje voor het ruivende

zelfbedrog en de tochthond van het goed genoeg.
En ja, ook wij. Als ik ooit papieren bekers stapel
buiten op je vensterbank, dan weet je – tuurlijk, sufferd –

dat ik de jouwe ben en dat ik heel lang niet verdroeg
dat bomen het met slechts één procent dynamisch levend
weefsel doen. Zo kan ik het ook, dacht ik
voordat ik jou ontmoette. Maar dat dat ook betekent

dat eiken, beuken, berken het nooit eens zoals wij
honderd procent actief, tot in hun kernhout
niet kunnen en daarbij toch rechtop blijven.
Zo’n letterlijke volharding, van alleen meters

zonder desondanks of desalniettemin of toch.
Ik kreeg er in hun plaats terstond hoogtevrees van
onder mijn schors.

Close

ACROPHOBIA

Paper cups, if you can drink out of them.
Made from the pulp of a tree that, itself, once drank water,
then, sip by sip, 

into you flows the sublime certainty that everything is coming together again:
knowing churned into feeling, the flood after all the ebb of resentment,
the shutter for susurrating 

self-deception and the draft excluder of the adequate.
Oh yes, and us, too. If I ever stack paper cups
outside on your windowsill, then you'll know – of course, silly – 

that I'm yours and that, for a long time, I couldn't bear it
that trees manage with only one percent dynamic living
tissue. I can do that, too, I thought
before I met you. But that that also means 

that oaks, beeches, birches can never, like us,
not be a hundred percent active, to their very heartwood
and still remain upright.
Such a total tenacity, of just metres 

without despite or nonetheless or anyway.
There and then, in their stead, I got acrophobia
under my bark.

ACROPHOBIA

Paper cups, if you can drink out of them.
Made from the pulp of a tree that, itself, once drank water,
then, sip by sip, 

into you flows the sublime certainty that everything is coming together again:
knowing churned into feeling, the flood after all the ebb of resentment,
the shutter for susurrating 

self-deception and the draft excluder of the adequate.
Oh yes, and us, too. If I ever stack paper cups
outside on your windowsill, then you'll know – of course, silly – 

that I'm yours and that, for a long time, I couldn't bear it
that trees manage with only one percent dynamic living
tissue. I can do that, too, I thought
before I met you. But that that also means 

that oaks, beeches, birches can never, like us,
not be a hundred percent active, to their very heartwood
and still remain upright.
Such a total tenacity, of just metres 

without despite or nonetheless or anyway.
There and then, in their stead, I got acrophobia
under my bark.

Sponsors
Gemeente Rotterdam
Nederlands Letterenfonds
Stichting Van Beuningen Peterich-fonds
Prins Bernhard cultuurfonds
Lira fonds
Versopolis
J.E. Jurriaanse
Gefinancierd door de Europese Unie
Elise Mathilde Fonds
Stichting Verzameling van Wijngaarden-Boot
Veerhuis
VDM
Partners
LantarenVenster – Verhalenhuis Belvédère