Poetry International Poetry International
Poem

Ayana Erdal

The effort to live a normal life is greater than life itself


The effort to live a normal life is greater than life itself,
clothing to cover the body and proverbs to educate the children,
dishes to please the husband and the newspaper spread all around,
someone else’s oversexed fate flickers on the screen
and you turn it off, don’t want the boy to see, the girl to discover,
just psalms in the morning and poor water spilled down the drain
a cracker eaten in a disappearing mouth, a hand run over a forehead
to send misery in a different direction.
 
The petit bourgeois life is exhausting.
You say you’re tired and I’m irritated by contempt and desire,
the newspapers today writing about us, and tomorrow’s that have written us off,
the books we’ve read on the table, an abyss of tears in the throat
and the shower stall the only proof that we’re really human.
 
Then our hair falls out and blocks the drain
and the aging to come is revealed in the hesitant touch of feet,  
all the extra stubbornness that camouflages our defeats,
Og the King of Bashan and his high cheekbones,
the accident at work that took away my job and my desire to live –
a few drooping words in a shaky hand,
if only there was something just for me and my body!
 

The effort to live a normal life is greater than life itself

 
הַמַּאֲמָץ לִחְיוֹת חַיִּים נוֹרְמָלִיִּים גָּדוֹל מִן הַחַיִּים עַצְמָם,
הַמַּלְבּוּשִׁים הַמְכַסִּים אֶת הַגּוּף וְהַפִּתְגָּמִים שֶׁנֶּאֱמָרִים כְּדֵי לְחַנֵּך אֶת הַיְלָדִים,
הַמַּאֲכָלִים שֶׁמְּבֻשָׁלִים כְּדֵי לְרַצּוֹת אֶת הַבַּעַל וְדַפֵּי הָעִתּוֹן הַפְּזוּרִים,
גּוֹרָל סֶקְסְמַנְיָאקִי שֶׁל מִישֶׁהוּ אַחֵר מְרַצֵּד עַל הַמִּרְקָע
וְאַתְּ מְכַבָּה, לֹא רוֹצָה שֶׁהַיֶּלֶד יֵדַע, שֶׁהַיַּלְדָּה תִּזְדַּהֶה
רַק פִּרְקֵי תְּהִלִּים בַּבֹּקֶר וּמַיִם אֶבְיוֹנִים נִשְׁטָפִים אֶל הַכִּיּוֹר
כַּעַךְ נֶאֱכָל בְּפֶה נָמוֹג, יָד מָעֲבֶרֶת עַל הַמֵּצַח
כְּדֵי לְהַטּוֹת אֶת הַסֶּבֶל לְכִוּוּן אַחֵר.
 
הַחַיִּים הַזְּעֵיר-בֻּרְגָּנִיִּים מַתִּישִׁים אוֹתָנוּ,
אַתָּה אוֹמֵר שֶׁאַתָּה עָיֵף וַאֲנִי עַצְבָּנִית מִבּוּז וּתְשׁוּקָה
עִתּוֹנֵי הַיּוֹם שֶׁאֲנַחְנוּ כְּתוּבִים בָּהֶם וְעִתּוֹנֵי מָחָר שֶׁיַּסְפִּידוּ אוֹתָנוּ
הַסְּפָרִים שֶׁקָּרָאנוּ עַל הַשֻּׁלְחָן, וּתְהוֹמוֹת הַבְּכִי בַּגָּרוֹן
וְהַמִּקְלַחַת שֶׁהִיא הָעֵדוּת הַיְחִידָה לְכָךְ שֶׁאֲנַחְנוּ בֶּאֱמֶת אֱנוֹשִׁיִּים,
 
אָז נוֹשְׁרוֹת שַׂעֲרוֹתֵינוּ וְסוֹתְמוֹת אֶת הַבִּיּוּב
וּמִתְגַּלָּה הַזִּקְנָה שֶׁעֲתִידָהּ לָבוֹא בְּמַגָּע הָרַגְלַיִם הַחוֹשֵׁשׁ,
כָּל הָעַקְשָׁנוּת הַיְּתֵרָה הִיא מַסְוֶה לַתְּבוּסְתָנוּת שֶׁלָּנוּ,
עוֹג מֶלֶךְ הַבָּשָׁן וַעַצְמוֹת הַלְּחָיַיִם הַגְּבוֹהוֹת שֶׁלּוֹ,
תְּאוּנַת הָעֲבוֹדָה שֶׁמָּנְעָה מִמֶּנִּי לַעֲבֹד וּתְשׁוּקָתִי לַחַיִּים –
כַּמָּה מִלִּים נְטוּיוֹת אַרְצָה כְּבִכְתָב-יָד רוֹעֵד,
אִלּוּ הָיָה רַק מַשֶּׁהוּ לִי וּלְגוּפִי!
Close

The effort to live a normal life is greater than life itself


The effort to live a normal life is greater than life itself,
clothing to cover the body and proverbs to educate the children,
dishes to please the husband and the newspaper spread all around,
someone else’s oversexed fate flickers on the screen
and you turn it off, don’t want the boy to see, the girl to discover,
just psalms in the morning and poor water spilled down the drain
a cracker eaten in a disappearing mouth, a hand run over a forehead
to send misery in a different direction.
 
The petit bourgeois life is exhausting.
You say you’re tired and I’m irritated by contempt and desire,
the newspapers today writing about us, and tomorrow’s that have written us off,
the books we’ve read on the table, an abyss of tears in the throat
and the shower stall the only proof that we’re really human.
 
Then our hair falls out and blocks the drain
and the aging to come is revealed in the hesitant touch of feet,  
all the extra stubbornness that camouflages our defeats,
Og the King of Bashan and his high cheekbones,
the accident at work that took away my job and my desire to live –
a few drooping words in a shaky hand,
if only there was something just for me and my body!
 

The effort to live a normal life is greater than life itself


The effort to live a normal life is greater than life itself,
clothing to cover the body and proverbs to educate the children,
dishes to please the husband and the newspaper spread all around,
someone else’s oversexed fate flickers on the screen
and you turn it off, don’t want the boy to see, the girl to discover,
just psalms in the morning and poor water spilled down the drain
a cracker eaten in a disappearing mouth, a hand run over a forehead
to send misery in a different direction.
 
The petit bourgeois life is exhausting.
You say you’re tired and I’m irritated by contempt and desire,
the newspapers today writing about us, and tomorrow’s that have written us off,
the books we’ve read on the table, an abyss of tears in the throat
and the shower stall the only proof that we’re really human.
 
Then our hair falls out and blocks the drain
and the aging to come is revealed in the hesitant touch of feet,  
all the extra stubbornness that camouflages our defeats,
Og the King of Bashan and his high cheekbones,
the accident at work that took away my job and my desire to live –
a few drooping words in a shaky hand,
if only there was something just for me and my body!
 
Sponsors
Gemeente Rotterdam
Nederlands Letterenfonds
Stichting Van Beuningen Peterich-fonds
Prins Bernhard cultuurfonds
Lira fonds
Versopolis
J.E. Jurriaanse
Gefinancierd door de Europese Unie
Elise Mathilde Fonds
Stichting Verzameling van Wijngaarden-Boot
Veerhuis
VDM
Partners
LantarenVenster – Verhalenhuis Belvédère